Unexpected Symptoms of Tatzlwurm Flu

[Author’s note: Takes place not long after the end of the episode “Three’s a Crowd”]

“Have a safe walk home! Thanks for coming by,” Fluttershy said as her friends filed out her front door.

Bringing up the rear of the exiting party, Twilight Sparkle paused. “You’re sure you’ll be ok on your own?” she asked, “I mean…he was a handful when he was fake-sick, I can’t imagine he’ll be any better now that he’s real-sick.”

Fluttershy shook her head, then brushed at the strands of her pink mane that had fallen into her face. “We’ll be fine. And I’ll send word if I need anything.”

The newly-crowned alicorn frowned, craning her neck to gaze worriedly at the draconequus in the quarantine bubble in the center of the living room. She watched as the once terrifying creature raised a hanky to his snout and honked pitifully into it. “Ok,” she said at last, “Keep us posted on how he’s doing, alright?”

“Of course!” Fluttershy said brightly, “Bye now!” She shut the door gently behind her friend.
“It’s about time! I thought they’d never leave us in peace…”

Fluttershy turned back to her patient, trotting over to sit next to him. “Now, now, they only wanted to make sure you were all settled here, that’s all.”

“Psssh!” Discord stuck his tongue out. “They only wanted to see to it that I was out of their manes.”

“Well, you did give them a lot of trouble this weekend,” she chided.

He sniffled, then blew into his handkerchief again. “I was bored…”

She smiled and shook her head. “Speaking of which, can I get you anything? Twilight left us a big pile of books.”

Discord made another face. “Of course she did. I suppose I need some way to pass the time.” He raised his eagle claw and snapped his fingers.

Nothing happened.

He looked down at his claw, frowning. He snapped again.

Nothing.

Again and again, snap, snap, snap, and all that happened was the sound reverberated off of the cottage walls.

“Um…” Fluttershy began.

“Your precious princess must’ve enchanted this cursed bubble,” he declared, pawing at the elasticized walls of his illness-mandated prison, “I can’t summon anything to me!” He erupted in a fit of coughing.

The little yellow pegasus watched him concernedly. “Oh dear, she didn’t mention that to me…”

“*hack* No! *weeze* Why would she? That would spoil that *hackhack* surprise!” He paused  to catch his breath, wiping his mouth on the back of his arm. “She thinks she’s so smart…just because summoning won’t work doesn’t mean I can’t–” He snapped again.

Still the room remained unchanged.

“Oh goodness,” Fluttershy said, “Her magic must be much more powerful now that she’s a princess.”

“No…no, plain alicorn magic can’t cancel me out,” Discord said, running his claws along the bubble walls. “Fluttershy, dear,” he said suddenly, whipping around so his face was as close to her as he could get it, “Could you please, be a lovely, and let me out of here?”

She bit her bottom lip. “I’m not sure I should,” she told him, “I still haven’t done enough research of what it is the Tatzlwurm gave you. It could be really dangerous to ponies.”

He clasped his mismatched hands together. “Oh please, oh please – and you know I don’t beg lightly – I promise it’ll only be for a moment. I just need to test something and then I’ll go right back in!” He drew a talon over his chest and batted his eyelashes at her. “Cross my heart?”

“Hmmm…” She cocked her head, considering.

He willed his eyes to brim with liquid.

She sighed, “Ok, but just for a minute.” She raised a hoof and tugged at the magical zipper that appeared on the side of the bubble. She’d barely begun to pull on it when he sprang forth into the open air. Tumbling head over scaly tail he didn’t even wait to right himself before he began snapping wildly, in every direction.

Fluttershy glanced around the room, peeked out the window. Reality appeared unaltered. “Uh-oh…” she said quietly. She turned back towards the draconequus, worry etched on her face.

To say that he matched her expression was a gross understatement. Discord was frozen in place, eyes wide, one large bushy brow and his upper lip twitching. His normally unevenly-sized pupils were drastically more so and despite his allover green hue from the sickness, the color had drained from his face.

In a rush of wind, he swooped back into the bubble, zipping himself back up from inside. Once secure, he began babbling to himself, “This can’t be happening – omniscient, omnipotent – impossible – what fresh hell – who would – how could –?”
“Um…Discord…?” Fluttershy said, approaching him once again, “Are you alri–”

The chimera let out a howl like nothing she had ever heard, her cottage shaking with the sound. Outside, the birds in the surrounding trees took to the sky. The Pegasus scrambled to catch the various breakables that tumbled to the floor, knocked from their respective spots by the ruckus. “Oh dear, oh my…Discord? Discord…STOP!” The shout was more forceful than she’d intended, having raised her voice in an attempt to be heard over the din, but it got the desired effect.

The draconequus quieted, for a moment, out of sheer surprise. He turned towards his caregiver, “I…I’ve lost my…my…”

“I’m sure it’s only temporary,” she said quickly, “It must be a side effect of the sickness. I’m sure your powers will come back once you’re better.”

His left eye seemed to have developed a tic. “B-but, you don’t understand!” he stammered, gesturing wildly, “My powers…that’s me! My essence! My very being! Without them…what am I?  I’m the Spirit of Chaos, for Equestria’s sake! If I can’t make chaos, what am I?!” He clutched at his muzzle, dragging his fingers through his fur. “I’m the Spirit of the Ghastly Green Pallor, that’s what!! And what universe needs one of those???”

“There’s no need to be so over-dramatic,” she said, trying to suppress a smile.

He whipped around so they were nose-to-nose. “I know that’s generally my style, but my identity crisis is the least of our worries!” he said.

Fluttershy held his gaze. “What do you mean?”

He began chewing on his claws. “Surely you of all ponies, as my first friend in eons, should know that I’m much better at making enemies,” he said, “And some of them are in the habit of living a very, very long time.”

“I don’t know anyone besides you and the princesses who live so long,” she said, “And besides, if someone was still around who had a grudge against you, wouldn’t they have already come to find you? You’ve been out of your statue for almost a year now.”

“They wouldn’t’ve dared,” he told her, grasping his tail and twisting the tuft of fur at the end, “Why do you think they’d hate me in the first place? Back when I ruled Equestria, as fun as it might have been for me, well…not everybody appreciates my sense of humor, but what could they do? Nothing! Reality bent to my will! But now…” He shuddered. “If word somehow got out that I’m…” he swallowed thickly, as if the words had caught in his throat, “…helpless…well, that would be the opportune moment to strike, wouldn’t it??”

Fluttershy’s expression softened, and she put hoof against the bubble wall. She’d gotten to see the chimera express emotions that few others ever had – contrition, affection, even loneliness – but this was the first time she’d ever seen fear. While on one level it was unnerving to see a being normally so powerful and confident lose that, her overriding instinct was to put him first. “I’m sure there’s no need to worry,” she told him, “You and I are the only ones who even know. How would anyone else find out?”

He scowled. “I’m sure Applejerk and Rainbow Snot would be so beside themselves with joy – they’d laugh themselves from here to Canterlot with the ‘good news’.”

“That’s not true,” she said sternly, “And besides, I wouldn’t tell them.”

Discord gave her a hesitant, cautious half-smile. “No?”

“Of course not,” she said, “If it’s that important to you. And it’s not really any of their business, is it?”

He chuckled quietly. “You’re too good to me, dear. I can’t imagine what I’ve done to deserve it.”

She smiled. “That’s just what friends do,” she said, “Now, do you think we’re safe as long as we keep this a secret?”

He stroked his beard. “Hmm…yes, I think so. Of all the enemies I can remember, none of them were ever psychic,” he said.

“Well, that’s that then,” she said, nodding sagely, “We were scared for nothing.”

“Scared??” he repeated, “Who said anything about scared?” He tried to straighten up to his full height, hit his head on the top of the bubble, and slunk back down.

Fluttershy smirked. “Oh, I just thought, what with all the fuss you were making…” Now that he seemed much less upset, a little bit of teasing was fair game.

Beneath a sickly green tinge, his muzzle flushed red. “Alright, maybe I was a little upset,” he admitted, crossing his mismatched arms, “But wouldn’t you be if you were suddenly missing a crucial piece of yourself?”

“I would,” she nodded, “Actually, I remember I had a similar reaction when you took my wings away, back when we first met.”

He winced, “Yes, well, ‘evil’ and all that…”

“And while I like my wings, I wouldn’t call them a ‘crucial part of myself’,” she admitted, “I could live without them, and they don’t make me who I am. I think you’re right – you wouldn’t be you without your powers.” She put her hoof down decisively, “So I think we’d better focus on getting you healthy again.”

“You’re right of course,” he said. He sniffled and then blew his nose. In all the panic, he’d momentarily forgotten the more mundane symptoms of the illness.  “My dear, what would I do without you?” She flew up so she could reach the spot on the bubble where Twilight had put a hoof-shaped glove, so she could reach in and pat him on the back. He turned and clasped her hoof in his paw. He let the moment linger, just slightly, before cracking a smile. “You know, I never did get that glass of water…”
Fluttershy giggled. “Coming right up!”

As she flew off to the kitchen, Discord settled in, curling himself up with the blanket and pillows she’d provided. For as troublesome as his condition was, he found it all too easy to drift off to sleep knowing the little pegasus was nearby.

~Fin~